Lisa (skinnyanguish) wrote,

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It All Comes Back to Sarai

Well, I just found out what has been going on, why Dad's been so emotionally abusive ever since we got back from NOLA a year and a half ago. After India House, before we got the apartment, we answered a Craigslist ad for a room for rent. It was a tiny house, just three bedrooms, with Dad and me in one, a young guy in another and the landlady in the third, and a teeny combination kitchen and living room. Anyway, the landlady hated me from Day One. And loooved my father...or actually, wanted his money.

She was nasty. Just mean. And had so many rules on everything from buying toilet paper to washing her dishes. She moved in on Dad, she gave him sex, and she started poisoning him against me. And all of a sudden, he was the model husband figure...waiting on her hand and foot, doing her laundry, taking out her garbage....and not speaking to me. For weeks, all I got were snotty one word answers.

Then I found out she was about to lose the house to foreclosure. She was flat broke. Apparently Dad found out too, because he offered to buy the house (on what? MY money maybe? I was paying both of our rent at the time.) Dad never mentioned this to me. Sarai did. She came to me all nasty and uppity and told me Dad was buying the house, but it was going to stay in her name, and as soon as he did, I was out in the cold. She insinuated that she knew how much life insurance he had too, and that plans were already underway to replace my name with hers on the policy. Whether that part's true or not, I don't know, Dad won't tell me either way.

At any rate, I went to Dad with everything. I told her what she had told me. I had heard as much from the old guy who set up a permanent yard sale in Sarai's lawn, and from the young guy in the other bedroom, but I waited until I got it from Sarai directly. We had a long talk, and he said he had no idea. He decided to split with her immediately, and we would leave the house within the week.

I had a date that night. When I got home, you guessed it...Dad was in bed with Sarai. I lost it. We ended up in a screaming argument. I have never felt as hurt and betrayed and lied to as I felt that night. Dad ended up leaving, leaving me alone in the house with her. So then I got it from that end. Lucas and I found the apartment soon after, and Dad ended up coming along. We grudgingly made up, and I thought everything was okay.

Well, I just found out tonight that Dad still resents me. It was none of my business what went on between him and Sarai. I had no right to confront him. After three years of being his full-time caregiver, I was supposed to just be happy he found someone and quietly bow out of his life. Well, tonight is the second night of my life of being this hurt and betrayed and devastated.

I mean, God, I have done everything for him. I've spent thousands of dollars. I've nursed him through illnesses. I've sacrificed a marriage and most of my own life. I don't expect a medal. I don't expect anything except not to be shut out of his life. He's had plenty of girlfriends, and I could care less. I'd like to see him happy. But not with someone who was actively trying to convince him what a horrible person I am. Not with someone who talked him into cutting me off. Am I in the wrong here????
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